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How to stay calm when someone is venting

Updated: Jan 30, 2023

It can be extremely difficult to stay in your center when someone you care about is upset or angry. It is important to remember the feelings they are having are NOT yours. They get to have them, all of them —even if you disagree or it doesn’t make sense to you.

If you feel yourself getting upset, breathe.

It takes practice to do this! You can, however, learn to step back and observe like a third person in the room or a bug on the wall and notice oh! This is what I feel AND this is what they feel. Neither of us is wrong because *feelings* are not right/wrong/good/bad. They are simply feelings, and they naturally move along.

I have a friend who does this beautifully. Her phrase is, “shit’s over there.” And she mentally places whatever crap is happening in a heap and sees it from her vantage place.

Try it! And remember, if you need someone to hear you, we care.

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