You’re Too Sensitive: The Pain of Feeling Misunderstood

“You’re too sensitive.”

If you heard that phrase growing up, you know how much it stings. It may have been said casually, even jokingly. But over time, those three words can chip away at your confidence and leave you questioning your own feelings.

Being told you're "too sensitive" is often a dismissal—not just of what you're feeling, but of who you are. It tells you that your reactions are wrong. That your emotions are inconvenient. That your way of being in the world is somehow too much.

And when it comes from family—the people who are supposed to know you best, love you most, and accept you unconditionally—it cuts even deeper.

Sensitivity Isn’t a Flaw

Let’s be clear: sensitivity is not a flaw. It’s not a weakness. Sensitivity is often a sign of empathy, of insight, of being deeply connected to the emotional currents around you. Sensitive people are often the ones who notice when others are in pain, who ask the thoughtful questions, who feel the highs and lows of life more vividly.

But when that sensitivity is constantly misunderstood or brushed off, especially by the people closest to us, it becomes easy to internalize the message that something must be wrong with us.

You may start editing yourself—hiding your feelings, minimizing your reactions, apologizing for your emotions. Over time, this creates distance. Not just from others, but from yourself.

The Loneliness of Not Being Heard

There’s a particular kind of loneliness that comes from feeling unheard by your family. You might be in the same room, hearing their words, going through the motions. But deep down, you know that the full version of you—the sensitive, emotionally aware version—doesn’t really feel welcome.

So you shrink. You stay quiet. You change the subject when something feels too raw or too real.

But the cost is high.

When you feel like your family doesn’t understand you, it’s easy to start believing that no one will. That maybe you really are too sensitive. That maybe your feelings don’t matter. That maybe it’s better not to speak up at all.

The truth IS:  You belong, and you are perfect just the way you are–you are loved just the way you are.  

You’re Allowed to Be Fully You

Being sensitive isn’t something to fix. It’s something to honor. The world needs more people who feel deeply, who care, who show up with open hearts.

It’s okay if your family didn’t (or doesn’t) know how to hold space for that. Many of us come from generations where emotional expression was discouraged. Vulnerability was seen as weakness. Silence was equated with strength.

But you’re allowed to break that pattern. You’re allowed to show up in the world as your full, sensitive self.

And you don’t have to wait for your family to understand you in order to do it.

A Moment I’ll Never Forget

When I was about five or six, I remember learning that meat came from animals. I was heartbroken. I didn’t want to eat meat anymore—it just felt wrong. I went to my mom, hoping she’d understand, and told her what I’d learned and how I felt. But she shut the conversation down. She said I would continue eating meat, and that was that. The decision wasn’t open for discussion.

Now, as an adult and a mother myself, I understand more of the context. I was already an extremely picky eater. My mom was doing her best to keep me healthy, and in her eyes, negotiating meals wasn't an option she had the bandwidth for. Still, the memory stuck with me—not just because I had to keep eating something I didn’t want, but because my feelings felt dismissed. My heartache wasn’t met with curiosity or care—it was met with authority and finality.

It wasn’t cruelty. It was overwhelm. But the impact on me was still there.

Parenting Through a Different Lens

These experiences matter. They shape the kind of parents we become. One of the reasons I care so much about emotional intelligence now is because I’ve lived what it’s like to feel dismissed—and I don’t want my kids (or yours) to carry that same weight.

I recently talked about this on Raising Wild Hearts, a podcast hosted by Ryann Watkin. Our episode (coming out May 12, 2025) focused on how emotional intelligence is not about controlling our kids' emotions—or even our own. It's about understanding them.

When a child is deeply sensitive, that’s not something to fix. Their strong reactions often reflect strong values or needs. Instead of asking “What’s wrong with you?” we can ask “What’s going on for you?” That small shift invites connection. It’s the same connection many of us wished for as children.

I don’t always get it right—no one does.  Yet when we’re honest about why, it builds trust far more than pretending to have it all together.

Finding Safe Spaces

The truth is, you may not always get the validation or empathy you crave from the people you wish would give it to you.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t find it.

Sometimes, healing starts with being heard by someone outside your inner circle. Someone who doesn’t have history with you. Someone who doesn’t try to fix you or minimize you or make it about them.

Sometimes, it’s about hearing your own thoughts out loud, and having them reflected back to you with kindness instead of judgment.

A New Way Forward

If you’ve ever been told you’re too sensitive, I want you to know you’re not alone. You’re not broken. You’re not overreacting. You feel deeply—and that’s a gift.

And if you’re longing to be heard in a way that feels safe and supportive, HOLD is here for you. Our confidential listening service offers you the space to say exactly what’s on your heart—without being judged, rushed, or told to “get over it.”

Because sometimes, being heard is the first step toward healing.

Book your confidential listening appointment today.