Winning with Integrity: How Collaboration and Respect Lead to Meaningful Success

I was in graduate school taking a course on creativity when one day, our professor had us play musical chairs. It came down to the last two people. The music stopped, and as one student went to sit down, the other moved the chair, causing them to crash to the floor—ultimately breaking a leg.

When later asked what was going through their mind, the response was, "I wanted to WIN!"

This moment stuck with me because it highlighted something important: the drive to win at all costs can lead to unintended consequences. In this case, the desire to win caused real harm, both to the person who was injured and likely to the person who acted out of desperation. It’s a powerful reminder that in business and in life, success isn’t just about claiming the victory, but about how we get there. If we’re focused only on winning, we might overlook the impact we have on others—or even on ourselves.

The real victory lies in playing with integrity, collaboration, and respect. When we prioritize those values, everyone wins. True winners aren't just those who come out on top but those who ensure that the journey to success is beneficial for all involved.

What Does Winning Really Mean?

We live in a world where winning is often defined by external achievements—getting the promotion, closing the big deal, or outshining competitors. But is that all winning really is? In reality, the way we define winning shapes how we pursue it. When winning becomes about more than just the end result, it transforms into something deeper and more meaningful.

Real winners understand that success isn’t just about the moment you cross the finish line. It’s about the relationships you build along the way, the lessons you learn, and the way you treat the people around you. Whether in business or in life, winning with integrity is what truly sets you apart and ensures that your victories are lasting and respected.

The Cost of Winning at All Costs

Let’s revisit the musical chairs scenario. In that moment, the student was so focused on winning that they didn’t consider the physical harm or damage their actions could cause. Their need to win outweighed their consideration for others. Unfortunately, this kind of "win-at-all-costs" mentality is not uncommon in today’s competitive world.

In business, this mindset can manifest in different ways: stepping on others to get ahead, cutting ethical corners to achieve goals, or undermining team members to gain recognition. While these tactics may lead to short-term victories, they often come with significant long-term consequences. You may lose the trust of your colleagues, damage your reputation, or create a toxic work environment. Is that really worth it for the sake of winning?

True winning involves looking at the bigger picture—how your actions and behaviors affect not only your success but also the success of those around you. When you approach life with integrity, collaboration, and respect, you build stronger relationships, foster trust, and create environments where everyone can thrive.

How Emotional Intelligence Leads to Winning

One of the most valuable tools for achieving meaningful success is emotional intelligence (EQ). Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize and manage your own emotions, while also understanding and empathizing with the emotions of others. People with high emotional intelligence are better equipped to handle challenges, resolve conflicts, and build strong, trusting relationships—all of which are crucial for achieving success that goes beyond just winning.

I was in a group yesterday focused on sales, and the leader recommended that lying was something you should do to close deals. I disagree. You can be who you are and not need to falsely embellish anything to get the deal. Authenticity builds trust, and trust is a cornerstone of long-term success. When you approach others with honesty, you're not only building a relationship based on mutual respect but also ensuring that the success you achieve is one you can stand behind with pride.

Here’s how emotional intelligence helps create meaningful success: Self-awareness allows you to understand how your own emotions influence your decisions and behavior. When you’re aware of your emotions, you can avoid impulsive decisions that may harm others or compromise your values.

Empathy enables you to understand how others feel, which is key to building trust and connection. When you consider the emotions of others, you make decisions that lead to success not just for yourself but for everyone involved.

Emotional intelligence also helps with conflict resolution. In any competitive environment, conflicts are inevitable. However, EQ allows you to navigate these conflicts in a way that maintains respect and creates positive outcomes for all parties.

The Power of Collaboration: Winning Together

Winning doesn’t have to mean defeating others. Some of the greatest successes come when people work together, combining their strengths to achieve a shared goal. Collaboration is key to long-term success, especially in environments where teamwork is essential.

Imagine a scenario where two team members are vying for a leadership position. One person decides to undermine the other to increase their chances of success, while the other focuses on building relationships, offering help, and collaborating with the team. In the end, the person who prioritized collaboration is often the one who earns the respect of colleagues and superiors alike.

Collaboration allows for more creative problem-solving, better communication, and an overall stronger team dynamic. When people win together, the results are more sustainable and the sense of accomplishment is far greater. You’re not just winning for yourself—you’re creating a victory for everyone involved.

Integrity: The Foundation of Real Success

Winning with integrity means holding yourself to high ethical standards, even when the temptation to take shortcuts is strong. It’s about staying true to your values, making choices you can stand by, and treating others with respect, no matter the circumstances. Integrity is not just about doing the right thing when it’s easy; it’s about maintaining those standards even in moments of pressure or opportunity for personal gain.

Recently, I heard about an employee who was taking leads that weren’t theirs, creating significant problems for the entire team. Despite the issue being addressed, the behavior continued. While that employee may have seen short-term benefits from taking the leads, the ongoing impact on team morale and trust was far more damaging. It’s a clear example of how winning without integrity—whether in business or life—can lead to fractured relationships and long-term harm.

Similarly, in the musical chairs example, the student who moved the chair might have won the game, but it wasn’t a win they could truly be proud of. In fact, that victory likely brought regret or guilt rather than satisfaction. Success that comes from unethical behavior is often hollow. When we focus on winning with integrity, we ensure that our success is something we can look back on with pride, knowing we didn’t compromise our values or harm others in the process.

Integrity builds trust. Whether in business, relationships, or life in general, when people know you are honest, respectful, and ethical, they are more likely to support and collaborate with you. Trust is the foundation of meaningful success. In the long run, this makes you a stronger leader and a more successful person, creating lasting results that benefit everyone involved.

Redefining Winning

In business and in life, winning shouldn’t be about coming out on top at the expense of others. It’s about achieving success through integrity, collaboration, and respect. When we prioritize these values, we not only win, but we also create positive outcomes for those around us.

True winning is about more than just the victory—it’s about how we play the game. By practicing emotional intelligence, focusing on collaboration, and maintaining a strong sense of integrity, we can win in a way that benefits everyone. And in the end, isn’t that the kind of victory that matters most?