Updated: Jan 30
We know – they are young, and we are older. We have more experience. So when they are explaining something to us, we may be inclined to “but” in – to tell them why we think that isn’t reasonable, or plausible, or possible. But hold those thoughts, those “but...but…buts” – hear them out, fully. If you don’t understand some aspect of the thought process, ask for clarification. That helps show you really DO want to understand, and that they are being heard. Then, when they are done, pause and think. It may be, they had looked at things from angles you hadn’t considered. You may be convinced by what they said. Or you might not. But either way, take the time to truly consider it. Perhaps they asked for permission to do something you were disinclined to give. Hear them out. If you have objections, voice them as concerns, and ask them, “Have you considered what you will do if x happens?” They may well have already thought that out. This gives them the opportunity to demonstrate to you their thinking. If they haven’t, it gives them a chance to consider it and possibly come up with a solution that hadn’t crossed your radar. Silencing your buts is a good way to help open lines of communication.