The Power of Speaking Up: Overcoming the Fear of Sharing Your Struggles

I know, I usually talk about the Power of Listening, but today…the flip side.

There’s something heavy about silence.
Not the kind of peaceful quiet you get when you’re finally alone with your thoughts. The kind that hurts. The kind where you’re carrying something so deep, so unspoken, that even breathing feels tight.

Many people I work with have told me they avoided reaching out—not because they didn’t want support, but because they were afraid to say it out loud.
Whatever “it” was.
Their fear, their grief, their resentment, their stuck place.

They worried that saying the words would make everything worse. That naming it would somehow give it more power.

But here’s the truth: silence is already powerful.
It’s already doing the damage.

And when we finally speak—especially to the right person—something remarkable happens. The emotional power returns to you. You become the one in charge again. Not the fear. Not the pain. You.

The Weight of Unspoken Words

There’s a psychological concept called “affect labeling.” It sounds clinical, but it’s something we all intuitively understand: when you name a feeling, it loses some of its grip.

Brain scans actually show that when you put emotions into words—just say them out loud—it calms the part of the brain that responds to stress. In other words, talking helps.

It doesn’t erase what happened. But it gives shape to something shapeless. It lets you see what you’re carrying, instead of being dragged around by it.

When we stay silent, that pain grows in the shadows. It echoes. It keeps looping in our minds because it has nowhere else to go.
But the moment we speak it to someone safe, it shifts.
It breathes.
And so do we.

The Fear of Saying It Out Loud

I know this fear intimately—not just from my clients, but from my own life.

I grew up in a small town in Iowa. A beautiful place with kind people, deep roots, and also… a strong cultural message: you don’t talk about hard things.

Mental health wasn’t something we acknowledged openly. If someone was struggling, it was whispered about. Brushed over. You were expected to pull yourself together, be strong, and keep it private.

So I learned early to keep my harder feelings inside. I didn’t always have the words, but I knew the message: Don’t make it awkward. Don’t make it worse. Don’t make it visible.

That upbringing shaped me—and also became one of the driving reasons I created HOLD.

I wanted to build something that would give people what I didn’t have then:
A space where nothing was “too much.”
A place where saying the hard thing wasn’t just allowed—it was honored.

What Happens When You Speak the Truth

When people finally say the thing they’ve been holding, I often watch a visible shift take place.

Their jaw loosens. Their shoulders drop. Their voice becomes clearer.
Sometimes they cry. Sometimes they laugh at how long they waited.

But almost always, they say something like:
“I didn’t realize how much that was sitting on me.”

That’s what Sarah said after our first listening appointment.
She came in carrying the weight of months—maybe years—of unspoken emotion. It had been piling up silently, all around her life. She was trying to keep everything together, but inside she was unraveling.

When she finally spoke, when she finally gave herself permission to be messy and honest and raw, her whole energy changed.

She told me afterward, “It was like something was unlocked. I walked out feeling lighter, clearer, more myself than I have in ages.”

That’s not magic. That’s what happens when we’re finally heard.

Why We Wait

There are so many reasons people stay silent.

Some worry about being judged.
Some think they’ll burden others.
Some fear that talking will make the problem worse.
And some have just never had a safe enough space to try.

If that’s you, please hear this:
You are not alone in that hesitation.
And also—you deserve relief.

Not when you’ve got it all figured out.
Not when you’re calmer or clearer or better.
Now.
Right where you are. Just as you are.

How to Begin (Even If It Feels Hard)

You don’t need the perfect words. You don’t need to know where to start.

You just need a moment of bravery. The kind where you say, “I think I need to talk.”

That one sentence opens a door.

If you’re not ready to talk to someone in your personal life, that’s okay. Sometimes starting with someone outside your circle feels safer. That’s why services like HOLD exist—to be a starting point. A safe beginning. A space that holds you without pressure or judgment.

A Gentle Invitation

There’s a reason the silence is so loud right now.
It’s your inner wisdom saying: I want something different.
I want to be heard. I want to feel lighter. I want to stop looping around this pain.

Speaking up won’t make everything easy.
But it will help you breathe again.

And you deserve that.

If you’re ready to say it out loud—even if you’re trembling, even if it’s messy—we’re here.
You can book a confidential listening appointment here:
👉 https://www.hearingoutlifedrama.com/book-online

No fixing. No pressure.
Just calm.
Just comfort.
Just you, being heard.