Expressing Gratitude Before It’s Too Late

We were crawling up the mountain pass in a snowstorm, chains rattling in the trunk and nerves rattling in my chest. The trip wasn’t optional—we had a medical appointment in San Francisco that couldn’t wait. My hands were freezing, and the gloves I brought weren’t doing much. I stood at the side of the road, fumbling to make sense of how to get the chains onto the tires. Rarely have I felt so helpless.

Then, out of nowhere, someone came to help.

No words. Just action. They knelt down and had those chains on in less than five minutes. By the time I turned to thank them, they were gone. No name. No way to find them. Just the breathless realization that someone had shown up for me—and I didn’t get to say thank you.

I still think about them. About how deeply I wanted to express my gratitude and how that moment stayed with me longer than they’ll ever know.

And maybe you’ve had moments like that too.

The Moments We Miss

There are so many ways we miss the opportunity to express gratitude. It’s not always a dramatic moment on the side of a mountain. Sometimes it’s everyday kindness—a friend who brings dinner after a hard week, a coworker who covered for you when you were sick, a parent who sacrificed without fanfare. We think we’ll remember to thank them later, and then life moves fast, and later doesn’t come.

Sometimes it’s not about forgetting—it’s about not knowing how. We freeze. We second-guess. We talk ourselves out of saying it, or we decide to wait for a “better” moment that never quite arrives.

And sometimes, tragically, we miss the moment completely. A loved one passes away. A relationship ends. Distance grows. And we’re left with words that stay stuck inside.

Gratitude doesn’t just make the other person feel good—it shifts us. It lightens the emotional load. It gives meaning to what we’ve experienced. But when we don’t speak it, it can become one more thing we carry, one more thread of regret knotted inside us.

Why We Wait

There are so many reasons we hold back. Maybe we’re afraid it will come out awkward, or that the other person will brush it off. Maybe we assume they already know we’re thankful—so why say it out loud? Maybe we’re overwhelmed and exhausted and don’t feel like we have the words.

Sometimes, it’s perfectionism in disguise. We want to get it just right—to express it in a way that lands perfectly. So we wait until we feel more ready, more articulate, more certain. And in that waiting, the moment slips past.

But gratitude doesn’t need a speech. It doesn’t need the perfect setup. It just needs to be true.

I’ve seen people weep with relief after finally saying thank you for something that happened years ago. I’ve seen relationships begin to thaw because one person decided to speak appreciation without expecting anything in return. And I’ve seen people find peace even after the person they wanted to thank was no longer living—because they finally let the words out of their own heart.

When Gratitude Is Hard to Express

Not every relationship makes it easy to speak from the heart.

Maybe your family never talked that way. Maybe you’re not in regular contact with the person you want to thank. Or maybe you’re holding complicated emotions—love mixed with pain, appreciation mixed with resentment.

It can feel confusing to sort out. And it’s okay to feel that way.

But here’s what I’ve learned after hundreds of hours listening to people just like you: even if it’s complex, it’s still worth exploring.

Because expressing gratitude isn’t always about the other person. Sometimes it’s about healing your own heart. It’s about releasing the emotional weight that comes from carrying unsaid words for too long.

You Don’t Have to Wait

If you’re reading this, someone is probably already on your mind.

Maybe it’s the nurse who stayed past her shift to sit with you in a vulnerable moment.

Maybe it’s your dad, who never said much, but always showed up when you really needed him.

Maybe it’s your best friend from college who helped you through a breakup—and you never said how much that meant.

Or maybe it’s someone you’ve lost, and you’re wondering if it’s too late now.

Let me assure you—it’s not.

You can write them a letter. Speak the words out loud in your heart. Or sit with someone who can help you find a way to release what you’ve been holding.

You don’t have to do it perfectly. You just have to do it.

Speak the Gratitude While You Can

If I had turned around just 15 seconds sooner, I would have looked that stranger in the eye and said thank you. I would have told them they saved the day, that they helped more than they could possibly know.

But I didn’t get the chance. And I’ve carried that.

You don’t have to.

If there’s someone you need to thank, say it now. And if the words feel stuck or the moment feels emotionally charged, I invite you to take a small step toward release.

Book a listening session and let it out in a space that’s private, judgment-free, and focused only on helping you find calm, comfort, and clarity.

Because gratitude unspoken is a gift unopened.
And some doors, once closed, stay closed longer than we’d like.