Help for the Holidays: When It Feels Like Too Much

My niece was born on Christmas Day.

It was a snowy morning in Iowa, and we were already buzzing with holiday excitement when my brother arrived with a Polaroid in hand. He held it out like it was the most sacred thing he’d ever touched—and in many ways, it was. There she was, brand new and impossibly tiny, tucked into a Christmas stocking like a gift too precious to be real.

He was so tired and happy. I remember it vividly, even though it’s been over forty years.

That year, joy came wrapped in swaddling cloths. But it also came with chaos—rushed dinners, hospital visits, and missed traditions that didn’t quite get made up.

It’s funny how often those two things live side by side: joy and stress. Anticipation and exhaustion. Tenderness and tension.

And while the story of a Christmas baby is sweet and sentimental, it’s also a reminder. Even the happiest moments can come with a cost. Even the people we love most can stretch our emotional reserves thin.

And for some people, that’s what the holidays are—a season of emotional contradiction. Love layered with grief. Laughter lined with pressure. Togetherness tangled with tension.

Why the Holidays Feel So Heavy

Whether you love them or dread them, the holidays tend to stir something up.

For some, it's the grief of missing someone who used to be there—someone who mattered so much that their absence is impossible to ignore. The empty chair at the table. The ornament no one wants to hang. The recipe that doesn’t taste the same in someone else’s hands.

For others, it's the emotional tightrope of gathering with people who bring more conflict than comfort. There’s that moment of holding your breath as certain topics come up, hoping it won’t escalate this time. The biting of your tongue. The mental preparation before the doorbell rings.

And for nearly everyone, there's the creeping sense that you have to do it all just right.

The shopping lists. The “what-if-I-forget-somethings.” The overbooked calendars and overextended energy.

Even those who genuinely enjoy the holidays often feel the strain.

You may find yourself:

Managing fragile relationships while trying to keep the peace.
Playing emotional referee between family members.
Feeling pressure to create the “perfect” experience.
Grieving someone quietly while smiling for group photos.
Spiraling into self-doubt or sadness at the decorations.

And that’s not even counting the travel, the weather, the budgeting, or the health issues that might be layered on top.

So what do you do when the pressure is high, the emotions are layered, and the expectations are more than you can meet?

You pause.
You remember what actually matters.
And you let yourself receive support.

You’re Allowed to Need Support, Too

If your holiday season feels like it’s already fraying around the edges, I want you to know something:

There’s a way to feel better.

And no, it doesn’t involve faking gratitude or gritting your teeth through every gathering. It doesn’t require you to suddenly become someone who doesn’t get overwhelmed or sad. It simply means allowing yourself to be human—and letting support in.

I’ve created two free resources that people come back to every year when the season gets emotionally messy:

Help! For the Holidays – a mindset reset to help you release perfection, find a steadier emotional center, and move through the season with more ease.
Rescuing a Sideways Conversation – Holiday Edition – a short, powerful guide to help you shift difficult conversations with family members (without guilt, blame, or giving in).

These aren’t long or complicated. You don’t need to study or prepare. You can glance through them in a quiet moment with a cup of tea or read them on your phone while hiding in the bathroom between events.

They’re small tools. But they’re powerful ones.

And they’re yours, free.

You might only need one of them. You might need them both. Or you might not even open them until New Year’s Day when you’re wondering why everything feels so hard.

Whenever you're ready, they’re there.

A Few Things to Remember as the Season Unfolds

If you’re in the middle of the chaos—or just beginning to dread what’s ahead—please keep this close.

You don’t have to do it perfectly.
You don’t even have to do it “well.”
You just have to get through in a way that feels okay to you.

Ten years from now, that moment probably won’t matter.
Whatever went wrong, whatever didn’t get done—it’s likely already fading into the background.

You’ve made it through before, and you will again.
You may even surprise yourself with how gracefully you navigate it this time.

You’re allowed to take care of yourself.
Even if others don’t understand.
Even if you’ve never done it before.

Kindness toward yourself matters.
Remember your worth.

You Deserve That Softness

You deserve a season where you’re not just holding it all together for everyone else. Where your value isn’t measured in casseroles or matching pajamas. Where you’re not judged by how graciously you respond to someone else’s rudeness or how perfectly you wrapped the gifts.

You deserve to exhale. To be human. To be supported.

If you need someone to listen—truly listen—I’m here. That’s what HOLD is. A place to speak without judgment, sort through what’s real for you, and feel even just a little more at peace.

But even if you never book a call, I hope you’ll download one of the resources above.

They were created with you in mind.

Wishing you calm, comfort, and clarity through it all.