When Nothing Else Has Worked: My Best Friend’s Experience With Ketamine Treatment

Note: Stephanie gave me her permission to write this—because if sharing her experience helps even one person feel less afraid, less alone, or more hopeful, it’s worth it.

When someone you love has been fighting treatment-resistant depression for decades, you’ve likely asked the same question they have: What else is left to try?

My best friend, Stephanie, has lived through days when—as she puts it—“her brain tries to kill her.” That kind of depression doesn’t just make life hard. It can make it feel impossible.

She’s tried everything. Therapy. Medication. Lifestyle shifts. She’s deeply self-aware and incredibly strong—but nothing ever truly lifted the weight. Every day she woke up thinking, “Oh crap, here we go again.  How do I make it through another day?” and tried to change it to “Good morning.”

Until now.

What Is Ketamine Treatment—and Who Is It For?

Ketamine treatment is designed for people with treatment-resistant depression. These are individuals who have already tried a range of options—talk therapy, psychiatric care, various medications—and still struggle to find relief.

It’s not a first stop. It’s a new chance.

Ketamine was originally developed as an anesthetic, but in recent years it’s shown powerful results in people with severe depression, anxiety, and PTSD. And when done well, it’s not just about the ketamine. It’s about what it makes possible.  It can potentially build new neural pathways.

The Intake: Addressing Doubts and Fears

When Stephanie told me she was considering ketamine treatment, I had questions. Big ones.

Would it be safe? What about long term effects? Was this just a trendy patch for something more complex that needed more research before jumping in?

The intake appointment put my fears to rest.

The clinic we went to was thoughtful, professional, and deeply invested in long-term healing—not just symptom relief. They explained that ketamine is a tool, not a cure. The goal is to use it alongside therapy, psychiatry, and the slow work of rebuilding life with more stability and self-care.

They even gave a patient guide—something I found surprisingly helpful. It talked about how to prepare for treatment (don’t walk in after a fight or a stressful conversation), how to set intentions, and why it’s best to turn off the TV hours before the appointment and be ready to  engage fully in the experience.  It is a psychedelic drug–so there’s definitely a trip.

Holding Space Without Adding Weight

As someone sitting beside her—literally and emotionally—I had to manage my own fears too. I was scared. I was worried.  If I let myself be, sometimes I still am.  

But I knew this wasn’t my treatment. This was hers. 

So I made a choice: I wouldn’t pile my fear on top of hers. I wouldn’t make her carry the weight of reassuring me while navigating something so big herself.

Instead, I regulated my own nervous system. I talked to my people. I loved my dog.  I focused on my own journey. I practiced emotional containment so she didn’t have to be the strong one for both of us.

It’s something I think we don’t talk about enough—the emotional maturity it takes to support someone without centering ourselves. Holding space doesn’t mean pretending you don’t have feelings. It means tending to those feelings outside of your loved one’s process, so you can show up clear-eyed and open-hearted.

The First Session: Fear, Giddiness, and a Glimpse of Light

Stephanie invited me to sit in on her first session.

She was anxious—understandably so. What if it didn’t work? What if it did work, and then stopped working? What if something changed and she couldn’t go back?

This is the kind of mental loop many people with depression know intimately. Hope and fear, tangled together.

But after that first session? Her words were simple: “I feel giddy.”

The anxiety that had been so present going in…was gone.

The shift was visible. It wasn’t some mystical transformation, but it was real. A sense of lightness. A softness in her face. A crack in the weight that had settled over her for years.

Staying Present: The Power of Right Now

And next came the very real fear as Stephanie said:

“What if it doesn’t last? What if it stops working? What if…?”

Ooof.  I know.  It was very easy to get used to the change.  And then it began to wear off as there was a longer time between treatments–and that fear was intensified.  Ketamine is cumulative, so it builds up.  And that takes some time.  Intially, she goes twice a month, and then probably will manage once a week, maybe longer between treatments.  We’re still in the first month as I write this, beginning week 3, so it’s very hopeful she’s responded so strongly at the beginning.

But ketamine, like any meaningful treatment, requires a return to the present. How do I feel right now? Can I find a better-feeling thought from here?

It’s work. But it’s work with traction now—because the heavy wall of depression isn’t quite so high.

More Than a Treatment—A Path Forward

One of the most hopeful things I’ve heard throughout this process came from the clinic itself:

“The goal isn’t just to feel better during treatment. It’s to feel well enough to engage in life again.”

Ketamine isn’t a standalone solution. It’s a foundation-builder. When the depression quiets down, there’s room to do the deeper work: to return to therapy, to adjust medication, to form healthier habits, and to re-enter life with more possibility.

That kind of hope matters. Especially when you’ve run out of other doors to try.

What to Know if You’re Considering Ketamine Treatment

• It’s for treatment-resistant depression. If traditional therapy and medications haven’t worked, this might be worth exploring.
  
  
• It’s not a magic fix. Ketamine can offer rapid relief—but it’s most effective when combined with ongoing support and professional care.
  
  
• Intention matters. Going in with a calm mindset, setting a clear intention, and creating a peaceful environment all make a difference.  Find a supportive good clinic.
  
  
• You’re not weak for needing it. If your brain feels like it’s turned against you, you deserve every tool available to bring you back to yourself.
  
  

Need Someone to Talk To?

If you or someone you love is exploring options for treatment-resistant depression, you don’t have to carry the questions alone. Sometimes, just saying things out loud to someone who won’t judge, fix, or rush you can bring real relief.

That’s what HOLD offers. A confidential listening space—by phone or Zoom—where you can sort through your thoughts, name your fears, or simply be heard.

Book a listening appointment when you’re ready. No pressure. Just space to breathe and be.