The Denier—this listener DENIES your reality and says things like “You’re exaggerating, It wasn’t that bad.” They try to convince you that “You rock. You’re perfect.”
This is the person who, to quote Adam Savage from Mythbusters, would be likely to say, “I reject your reality and substitute my own.” It made for an amusing thing to say on the show, but in life, well – your reality is still real. With Covid running rampant right now, we are seeing a lot of this. People are denying that Covid is a) real or b) bad. And, for some lucky people, it really didn’t hit hard. But to deny that it is a serious illness when people are dying on ventilators is rejecting their reality. If my loved one was in the hospital with a serious illness like that, the last thing I want is someone to hear me tell of the trials that person is going through, and how worried I am, and to come back with, “Oh, it’s not so bad. They will be home in no time.” Because, in that moment, I know that it is that bad, and I have no assurance that they will heal and return home. And if they do, I have no way to know how well they will be. Or if I was working on a big project at work, and totally messed it up, throwing the schedule off, delaying the project, and causing more work for many people, I might not be so thrilled to hear, “You rock – you’re perfect!” Because it sounds as hollow and false as it is. Better to say, “Oh, that’s hard. But you will work through this.” That would make me feel better than false praise. Denying reality doesn’t change it. Validate, support, empathize–get results you want!
HOLD listeners recognize your reality impacts you. We’re trained to listen to YOU. If you could really use someone who can do that in your life right now, you can book an appointment with us here: https://www.hearingoutlifedrama.com/book-online